Mind-Body-You

FEAR IS A NATURAL REACTION – but can we practice Emotional Isolating during Covid19? The honest answer is – I don’t know for sure, but I do hope so… How are you all doing today? It has been the most surreal week, month – and already the most surreal year - for the whole world hasn’t it?  So how do we really stay WELL during this time of Global Crisis. In addition to following the Best Public Health Advice from Reliable Sources and Implementing the best measures of Handwashing (7 step technique) and Social Distancing to name a few, I believe there is another thing we could be doing to enhance our level of WELLNESS at this time - Emotional lsolating. • I do NOT mean being blissfully ignorant to what is going on in the world • I do NOT mean being rude or discourteous to those around us • I do NOT mean pretending that we are not having certain emotions • I do NOT mean that having certain emotions is good, bad or otherwise What I DO mean is that we are so mu

In some ways Covid19 is like dé·jà vu I know that things feel out of control right now, there is bad news, it is coming, we know we will be affected to some degree, perhaps already have been, but we won’t know the full extent for some time. There is a lot of uncertainty. We are simply not able to have all the answers yet, and in many ways, we have to surrender and wait it out (while doing all that we can in the meantime of course). The fear in the world right now is real, it is gripping our nations. It is raw, it is relentless, it is real.  I write these words above, but strangely I feel more of an observer to these feelings. My emotional attachment to them isn’t the same as what it could have been, if I hadn’t lived through similar feelings before - twice before. I will elaborate on my story in coming posts - but for today I just wanted to highlight (for anyone who may be new to the page), that my previous experiences involved two of my three children.   On two se

Tell your story (from my Growing through it, from Grief to Growth blog) The weeks leading up to Rónan’s death went so fast, they were so difficult and my ability to cope was pushed to it’s very limit. It takes a lot to accept that the fight - his and yours - is coming to an end and to surrender to a fate that you want no part of. The urge to pause time, to rewind, to do anything to not move forward into that place of pain and emptiness is overwhelming. Knowing I was entering a time where I could not see his face, hold his hand, hug him, hold him or kiss him was too painful. At the same time I knew he could not go on. He fought a good fight, much more than any of us could. My brave wee soul needed to be free from the bounds of his human body which was not made to be here on earth very long. That beautiful wee body defied the laws of nature on more than one occasion, but the fight was now too much. Part of love is letting go, that was the only option at that point. All

When you feel like the only one (from my Growing through it, from Grief to Growth blog) I remember it was a few weeks after Rónan passed, I don’t remember exactly how many. I was sitting outside on our front lawn taking some quiet time, by myself. Our daughters and my husband were inside. I didn’t want to upset them in that moment and to be truthful, I just didn’t want to feel responsible for anyone in that moment either. They were all inside and they were safe. For now, that was enough. I felt stuck to the grass, it was damp and I was getting wet, it was sunny but not really warm. I couldn’t bring myself to move. I was numb. I sat and stared into space. It must have been a weekend because our landlord was down working on the nearby farm. He spotted me and came over. I continued to sit, stuck to the grass. He bent down on one knee to be on my level and asked me how I was, and then – he listened. What a treasured gift to give someone who is grieving. To just listen.

Is Growth even possible with Grief? (From my Growing through it, from Grief to Growth blog) I think I will start by saying that all opinions within my posts are my own, based on my lived experience and from what I have learned and studied in the last few years. It may not fit with your experience and that is okay, we each have our own path and our own journey and our own ways of living and interpreting life after the death of our loved one(s). Part of my path, my journey - I believe is to share through writing. I find it cathartic and it may also help another person. If it helps just one, it will be well worth sharing. Based on my own experience I believe that growth can coexist with grief. They are not mutually exclusive nor are they at opposite ends of a linear spectrum (like a bereavement starting and finishing point - it can be a big ole squiggly mess at times and that’s okay). Just because you experience some growth after the trauma of grief doesn’t mean you are

Can time heal all wounds? A post from my Growing through it, from Grief to Growth blog  They say that “time heals all wounds”. This is a phrase, a cliché, a platitude that is thrown about whenever someone is experiencing a difficult situation, but is it always true? Well meaning people often say this. Some said it to me when I was newly bereaved, after the loss of my son and I just could not understand how anyone could think this, never mind say it, in relation to the loss of a child. Though perhaps I was interpreting the phrase in a very black and white fashion. I have come to know that there are many grey areas in grief, just like there are varying degrees of healing. I thought these well meaning people were trying to tell me that my wound would completely heal with time and be gone altogether. That things would be back to normal, or as they were before. This was not, and is not, the case. The wound remains, there is no doubt about that, but it can heal to a degree. It